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The Struggle

You know what I think is stupid, marriage. This whole idea that you should emotionally bind yourself to someone is awful. We feel safe in marriage, we feel like we finally have some one that understands, that will love you and take care of you. So we give ourselves completely to another person and let … Continue reading The Struggle

Mood Swings

Man, I feel like I am going through some weird hormonal crap right now. I don’t think I usually have what you would call mood swings or anything. I’m usually pretty calm and even keeled. I think I still am on the outside though for the most part, or so people say. I’ve been told … Continue reading Mood Swings

Bad Days

Look at me, already writing on here. Mainly I’m writing because I’m having a bit of a bad day again. I usually have ok days where I can focus on other things and stuff but I’ve been at my moms for a week now due to work schedules. It’s nice because I have a little … Continue reading Bad Days

Hope For a New Day

Wow, I feel like it’s been a long time since I have written in this blog. I keep telling myself that I need to sit down and write but I never end up doing it. It has been pretty busy though, I feel like I haven’t had much time to relax lately. The week has … Continue reading Hope For a New Day

The Wait

So I’m a few weeks away I think from the option to divorce legally now. Waiting is not good though because forgive and forget is a great strength of mine. I can feel the negativity finally starting to die down a little bit and the thought of going home is annoyingly easy to contemplate. All … Continue reading The Wait

I’m Tired of This

I probably shouldn’t be writing this today because I feel like crap and NO it’s not COVID. I’m just really worn out and I don’t really know what to write anymore. I am, however, doing this to myself partly. I started the whole30 diet with my brother and sister in law 3 days ago and … Continue reading I’m Tired of This

In Limbo

So just a heads up- the main pictures on today’s post are actual pictures of my own pets. I kind of wanted everyone to see how freaking cute they all are and why I’m struggling so much, because the last thing I want to do is hurt them. Anyways, I haven’t really been writing all … Continue reading In Limbo

Hoovering or Change?

I don’t know guys, I’ve heard of people wanting to change and stuff but I’ve not heard of narcissistic types wanting to change. We’ve been writing back and forth a little bit over email and if I didn’t know any better, I would say the man actually wants to change. However, I do know better … Continue reading Hoovering or Change?

Will It Ever End?

Well I tried to end it tonight. I don’t know what part of me thought I could do this easily or at least somewhat easily. I kind of thought I would have to claw myself out of this but God, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to. My mind just gets so twisted up when … Continue reading Will It Ever End?

Letting Go

I have realized that the entire time I have been separated, I am still letting my husband control me. You should see what I do when he calls me, I drop everything and answer the phone. I’ve been seeing him every weekend, not hanging up on him or ending our conversation when he gets angry … Continue reading Letting Go

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